Cruise Friends
Basically I am a novelist. I have written one terrorist thriller entitled Nine Lives Too Many and a suspenseful, modern ghost story called The Daemon in Our Dreams. I have a new novel forthcoming which deals with rice queens. Most of my fictional activities are chronicled on my website www.senneffhouse.com . Every once in a while I like to go back to where I started as a writer in the field of travel writing. My roots. I particularly like travel writing with bits of humor interspersed. Here s a sample:
If you’ve ever been on a cruise ship, perhaps you’ve met my friends. After a while, you just become one big, dysfunctional family.
Cruising Chester:
...one of the most romantic getaways in the world. You can spend time with your loved one alone aboard ship, or take part in the many activities available for couples at the many exciting ports. The port visits take you ...
Pilot Boat Phil: “I take pictures of the pilots and pilot boats in every port. I have a collection of over 200 different pilots. And I rate them. When the seas are rough, and they make a smooth transfer, they get a 10. If the ship stops to pick them up, they don’t get a good rating. The best one ever was in the English Channel. The pilot
...Granada head for Malaga phew! Alternatively get a Euroline coach all the way from the UK to Estepona or Malaga or travel from Paris on the fast night train to Madrid and connect with the AVE fast train to Cordoba ...
Lecturing Larry: “Excuse me. Did I hear you say you’ve never been to Monaco? The population is 31,719; the area is three-quarters of a square mile; the national budget is …”
Betty the Barracuda: “My sign is Gemini, and your sign is Taurus. You know what that means. I love the way that gold chain of yours nestles so nicely in the black hair on your chest. If you hadn’t told me you were on Medicare, I’d never have thought it. I was thinking mid-40s.”
Grandma and Grandpa Klutz: “And this is a picture of our grandson climbing up
...you want a flavour of the roaring twenties. Listed in the National Register of Historic Places, the Villa Serena Inn is Sarasota s only remaining Original Inn from the roaring twenties. It is included in the register due to its ...
Travel Agent Teddy: “What did you pay? Oh, too bad. I could have gotten your cabin for $300, including port charges, airfare and transfers. I always get three category upgrades for my clients. Next time call me. My number is 800-SAVALOT. I always send a bottle of Norwegian champagne to a client’s room.”
Boring Brad: “Uh, I was in this place in 1964, and they had, uh, a good beer in a place at some beach, and, uh, I think I went swimming here. Maybe not …”
Booze Cruise Betty: “What’s the next port?
...everywhere. But when put into perspective, few people can come up with the true reason they are interested by it. So, ask yourself why you really enjoy reading the gossip magazines. If you can t come up with any valid ...
Fred and Ginger: “We’ve been on hundreds of cruises. They call us the king and queen of ballroom dancing. We dance before dinner, after dinner, at tea dance, at the captain’s reception, in the ship’s atrium. You name it. We can do every dance from the samba to the tango, jitterbug, whatever. Fred’s a podiatrist, and I work for Saks Fifth Avenue in the shoe department. We’re ballroom dancers extraordinaire.”
Claude, the Wanna-Be Captain: “The ship lists three
...do some shopping on their holiday. Some of the ports visited include the Bahamas, Puerto Rico, St Thomas, St John and St Martin. Western Caribbean Cruise Cruises heading to the western Caribbean generally leave form Florida, Texas or New Orleans. ...
Ralph, the Restaurant Critic: “The food on Celebrity is slightly more ostentatious than the food on Costa. The dinner rolls on Princess have more body than those on Carnival. Royal Caribbean’s corned beef hash for breakfast is coarser than the hash on Norwegian Cruise Line.”
Seasick Sam: “I’m wearing nine patches. They said to wear one on your navel, so I am. Last night I thought I was going to die. I haven’t even seen the dining room, and we disembark tomorrow.”
Camcorder Calvin: “Would you let me in next to the rail?
...it may pay to insure against that possibility. It might seem like you re throwing money down the drain that could pay for a nice meal or day trip on your holiday, but good travel insurance doesn t have to ...
Dine-Around Julia and Jesse: “In the morning we have fruit and muffins in the Lido, waffles in the dining room, bouillon on deck at 11, lunch in the Lido, tea and cakes at four, hot hors d’oeuvres in the bar for cocktails, first-seating dinner in the dining room, pizza at 10 in the pizzeria, salads and desserts at the midnight buffet, and before we go to bed, we order BLTs from room service. Neither one of us has ever had angioplasty.”
The Light-Tipping Lewises: “We don’t believe in all this tipping
...make sure that the condition of the ship is acceptable, as well as all technical matters pertaining to the ship's ability to function properly. There are excellent websites on the Internet that provide details about various cruise ships on sale. ...
Bingo Bertha: “I always go to progressive bingo. I get seven cards for each game, and I can poke out those little holes faster than they can call out the numbers. If they don’t have bingo in heaven, I ain’t going. They better have a
...is also a Senior Member of the Society for Technical Communication (STC), and a Member of American Writers and Artists Institute (AWAI). You can reach him at [mailto:writer111@gmail.com]writer111@gmail.com for a FREE consultation on all your copywriting needs. You are most ...
Lifeboat Drill Lenny: “Hey, you’ve got those straps on wrong. Hey, you’re missing a whistle. Hey, your light isn’t working. Hey, Mister, that strap is supposed to come up through your crotch. Hey, ma’am, please don’t drag your straps through the halls.”
Preparedness Patsy: “On a seven-day cruise, I pack my bags for disembarkation on the fourth day, and I have my luggage in the hall on the fifth night. I’m always the first one off the ship.”
Dolly, the Queen of Disasters: “I’ve read every book and seen every movie about the
...for Best Music, Original Song Oscar for 1958. An 8 out of 10. Ugur Akinci, Ph.D. is a Creative Copywriter, Editor, an experienced and award-winning Senior Technical Communicator specializing in fundraising packages, direct sales copy, web content, press releases, movie ...
Me: I never get seasick; I’m not pedantic, not a cruise maven, not a glutton. But you know what? I do think that the fruit selection they give you in the cabin is better on Royal Caribbean than Princess, and the ship’s newspaper on Celebrity is more literate than the one on Carnival.
John (Jack) Rooney is the author of the terrorist thriller Nine Lives Too Many featuring
...ensure that you have a great Bermuda cruise; one that is custom designed to meet your own specific Bermuda vacation needs. There are clearly great gaps in the services offered by the various companies, and we can't cover them all ...
He was born and educated in Springfield, Massachusetts (Classical High School and American International College). He wrote book reviews and feature articles for the Springfield newspapers.
After receiving his M.A. in Arts and Science from Columbia University, he worked for the Cunard Cruise Lines as a business correspondent at 25 Broadway, went on to serve in the U.S. Army as a
...Slaw, Pecan Rolls, Greek Salads, and even London broil along with the commonly found Candy Apples, Corn Dogs and Roasted Peanuts. Gail Leino is known throughout the internet world as Mrs. Party. She has become the internet's leading authority on ...